Why Brown City, MI Postal Service hates me.

A little over a week ago I sent my buddy Nate a stick of ram for a computer. I wasnt using it, so I figured share the wealth. Usually when i send something out I take some artistic and creative skill and puke all over the package. This was no different. I asked Nate if I could toss in some typical Foxx Brand Sticky Humor. He agreed to it, so I went along with my evil plan.

Day by day passed and there was no profane, indecent envelope in the mail. A week passes by, still no awkward stare from the postal worker. A few more days pass, no defiled looks from family members towards Nate. We both begin to wonder, ponder if you will... where the hell is this RAM!?

I get a call from Nate telling me he is about to run into the post office and raise hell. Apparently he wasnt expecting the opposite. The local postal inspector took him into a room and had interrogated him about the contents of the envelope. They took copies of his drivers licence, envelope, and explained how they will be making a formal complaint against me, putting me on "a list" and will have an ongoing background check with investigation. All of that hassle for some measly profanity on an envelope! Jebus H. Christ, these people must have nothing better to do. Putting the thing in the 'suspicious mail' aka 'mail bomb' room for a week thinking that its some kind of WMD... Man, what the fuck?!

So, you may be wondering what was on the letter that made them all paranoid?

"in case the saliva on the flap makes a poor DNA sample, I included a sperm sample as well. enjoy!"

"Go stick this ram up your ass and fucking like it!!"

"Spend less time reading, and more time delivering this - thank you XP"


Glad I never use my real name. HAH! Have fun chasing ghosts, jerkoffs.