Asus EEE - Where it went wrong

My buddy Mustang wanted an EEE PC, my other buddy was selling his for $150. Me acting as a middle man I was able to work the deal out, so I have had the honor to try out my hacky hands with this contraption. Its currently running a nice clean install of XP Pro Corporate. One thing that really pissed me off is that Asus sold this as a "Laptop for Hackers" but wont let you hack it. At first the violated the GPL License by not releasing proper drivers so you can install your on distribution of linux. They also made it so that replacing or upgrading the RAM or Solid State Hard Drive (SSHDD) voided the warranty. Thats really shitty! How can you tell me I will void my warrenty because I put more standard, off the shelf RAM in the unit? I can understand if I took the whole thing apart and took my soldering iron to the board, but to void it under the pretense that I replace standard hardware... fuck you. It seems they used "Linux Hacker" more as a marketing term than conforming to the Open Source sensibility of homebrew hackers and technophiles alike. This alone made me digress an EEE purchase.

Now, I like the size, but here are some minor gripes, besides the obvious maketing and licence blunders of the past:

• The touchpad is too small to be remotely useful.
• The 7" LCD isnt big enough to hold a typical GUI, even a slimmed down GUI.
  
• The keyboard is very hard to use without using the 'Hunt and peck' method.
• Battery... can we please have an official extended battery?

I like the SDHC, right now I have an 8GB card in there. I havent gone to installing linux to SD yet, or to a USB Drive, but with a little tech know-how its not hard at all. If you think GRUB is a type of bug, then you shouldnt even bother with an EEE. I have managed to BSOD the EEE within minutes of using it, but I just have that talent. Seeing how this isnt mine, I didnt really dig into it. Once mustang gets his paws on it, I will surely be by his side ready to sink my claws in.





For productivity, this thing is useless. The screen is too small to hold a standard formatted screen for text editing, and the keyboard is harder to use than a thorn covered butt plug. If you want it for generic mobile bullshit, its great! Add a beefed up wifi card and bluetooth stick, some nice linux software, and you could be a severe threat to anyone roaming the electronic frontier within the immediate area. Or just be a typical myspace/facebook whore... but beyond generic playing, which I must say, I do a lot, I wouldnt buy one at full price, and if I did get one, a 10" screen would be the best one to get if you can.

Once I get this off to mustang and we work on it a bit, I will post some more about the hellish hacks and misadventures of BSoD and friends.

Hacking the cork out of the WebTV 2 RM4100's ass

Yeah, I dont blog. Blow me!

I have an MSN WebTV 2 model RM4100. Not because MSN WebTV is a worth while service, or because I am compelled to e-mail and browse the interweb from my TV, I have an Xbox running linux for that, and that can at least run nmap. The WebTV 2 Model RM4100 runs on all standard intel hardware. Here is some info on it:

• Intel Celeron 733MHz CPU
  
• Intel 830M northbridge
• Intel 82801DB (ICH4) southbridge
• SMSC LPC47M192 Super I/O
• ST M50FW080 8-Mbit (1Mbx8) Firmware Hub (FWH) flash memory
• 128MB PC133 SDRAM on board
• USB 2.0 ports
• 2 Ultra-ATA/100/66/33 IDE channels (no connectors)
• 64MB Compact Flash via IDE controller (upgradeable)
• Integrated 10/100 Intel 82562ET LAN On Motherboard (LOM)
• Integrated 2D and 3D graphics with AGP 4X interface
• Conexant CX25873-13 High Performance Video Encoder
• Composite and S-Video outputs (can deliver either NTSC or PAL video)
• Sigmatel STAC9767 AC’97 2.3 20-Bit audio controller
• Integrated Conexant CX81801-94 SmartV.XX V.92, V.34, V.32 data modem
• IR receiver for remote / keyboard via MCU on LPT bus
• Operates at 12V at 2.5A max draw
  

Everything about that should make your ePenis grow a little. There are more hardware mods to add in more USB, sound input, HDD, Optical, PS/2, and even PCI, however that will take a lot of serous soldering skill. HDD/Optical, USB, and Audio is a breeze, dont expect me to get PCI working anytime soon, but it is one of my main goals. Its all standard intel hardware, meaning any x86 compiled OS will run. Unfortunately that it not the case. First off the thing runs off a custom BootROM that doesnt even closely resemble a PC BIOS. It natively boots a custom build of Windows CE 5. A few brilliant fuckers have been working on a LinuxBIOS replacement, and to most extent have the unit working as a full featured PC that is very Linux capable. However, I am not a stinking linux fanboy, and if you even MENTION Ubuntu running on this thing ill slap you with a week old wad of bologna!

The main hurdle to overcome is the ST M50FW080 8-Mbit (1Mbx8) Firmware Hub (FWH) flash memory. Not only is is obsolete, the OEM disavows even making it. It had a VERY short life span, probably due to some critical flaws. FWH was created mainly for BIOS operations in which only small parts of the contents on Flash need to be changed, rather having to reflash the WHOLE thing over and over, just to flip a few bits around here and there. Its has a really nice style to it, much more efficient than having to deal with a whole Electrical Erase and Reflash just to put in 1k of modified code.

Here is the problem. The M50FW080 has gone the way of most geeks and dorks sex life, either non existent or so rare chances of it ever getting some kind of 3rd party support is slim to none. You might as well play LoZ for the CDi instead, that will be more available to you.

Now I have a Willem EEPROM Programmer. Thats like having a desperate fuck buddy on speed dial... that still doesnt like anal. It will not work with the M50FW080. So here is my theoretical solution:

• WEB TV2 RM4100 BIOS slot now has a PLCC 32 Pin Socket.
• I got my hands on some compatible SST 49LF008A FWH ICs.
• Flash the PC BIOS to the 49LF, and see if its brings the RM4100 back to life
• If the chips are not pin compatible, build a PCB Rebuild to make it so

In the long run I am looking to make a replacement BIOS for this fucker that can run a slightly modified PC BIOS, which I have but yet to configure. I also have some schematics here for a very inexpensive LPT based LPC FWH Programmer. That way if you dont want to spend the $50+ on a Willem to program this one chip just ONCE, or deal with a hot flash (pull a BIOS from a PC with compatible hardware while its on, while running a BIOS flashing utility) then just hit the parts bin to make this cheap ass programmer.

I just got my sample FWH 8Mbit ICs from SST in today. Im on a busy schedule so I dont know when I will get a chance to set up and perform the operation. I also have some PLCC 32 pin sockets on the way just in case i need to make the rebuild kit. This is looking pretty good so far. The only downside to any of this would be if the LPC Programmer wasnt compatible with the chips I have here. Then the lot of you are boned until someone comes by with a solution besides a hotflash.

Even if you are a total techno'fuckwit you should have enough scope by now to understand that out of the box using nothing more than a simple serial cable and some software know how, you can turn this thing into a moderately useful Linux machine that can run off 12V @ 2.5A. Either set top box, car'puter, media center, navigation center, internet appliance, or in my case, a future control node for a Wifi Death Ray.

Why Brown City, MI Postal Service hates me.

A little over a week ago I sent my buddy Nate a stick of ram for a computer. I wasnt using it, so I figured share the wealth. Usually when i send something out I take some artistic and creative skill and puke all over the package. This was no different. I asked Nate if I could toss in some typical Foxx Brand Sticky Humor. He agreed to it, so I went along with my evil plan.

Day by day passed and there was no profane, indecent envelope in the mail. A week passes by, still no awkward stare from the postal worker. A few more days pass, no defiled looks from family members towards Nate. We both begin to wonder, ponder if you will... where the hell is this RAM!?

I get a call from Nate telling me he is about to run into the post office and raise hell. Apparently he wasnt expecting the opposite. The local postal inspector took him into a room and had interrogated him about the contents of the envelope. They took copies of his drivers licence, envelope, and explained how they will be making a formal complaint against me, putting me on "a list" and will have an ongoing background check with investigation. All of that hassle for some measly profanity on an envelope! Jebus H. Christ, these people must have nothing better to do. Putting the thing in the 'suspicious mail' aka 'mail bomb' room for a week thinking that its some kind of WMD... Man, what the fuck?!

So, you may be wondering what was on the letter that made them all paranoid?

"in case the saliva on the flap makes a poor DNA sample, I included a sperm sample as well. enjoy!"

"Go stick this ram up your ass and fucking like it!!"

"Spend less time reading, and more time delivering this - thank you XP"


Glad I never use my real name. HAH! Have fun chasing ghosts, jerkoffs.

The adventures of Foxx and the Holy Shit

Someone once said "Put a thousand monkeys behind typewriters, and they will eventually create all the works of Shakespeare." Thanks to the internet, this idea has been proven completely fucking wrong! All the emo bloggers out there posting every mood swing, anime freaks talking about how big their chi is, and miles of pointless crap you have to bog through. Well, here is some more crap. Here is a tall tale that turns out warm and bitter sweet in the end.

So there I was silently napping, something I don't do often, when all of a sudden I gently hear my lovely Hunnie Bunnie sit by my side and grumble "Ummm, the toilet is broken". Of course this isn't the ideal way to start waking up. After some half delusional inquiries I had come the the deducted conclusion that she had accidentally dropped her deodorant into an already processing toilet. Somehow the swirl of psychic mind-melding water flow had a reaction with her equilibrium causing her to loose balance, and in the process of saving herself she had dropped the poor, innocent deodorant. Either that or shes just a fucking clutz.

All efforts to retrieve the lost Deodorant of D'Stink was an utter failure. Many men were lost, many lives were ruined, and I spent $8 on a plunger that didn't work. The Coat-Hanger seamlessly gave his life for the cause. However I think he was confused, he may thought of the mission was a back alley abortion. No worries Coat-Hanger, you will meet your dead baby an bleach soon... very very soon. We must prevail! The water MUST flow yet again!

Unfortunately I didn't notice a ticking time bomb that slowly matured. Mother Nature, thou are a crewel bitch.

Almost three days later and the urge to poop was upon me. To cast all evil out of my bowels, and purge myself of all filth. The Catholics would be disappointed. Of course this was the crack of night and nothing in a 5 mile radius was awake and willing to let me BM in their Loo'. Of course the obvious 'Loaf on a lawn' idea did pop up, but being dead winter and quite frigid out, I would think the Sphincter Gods would not bless the occasion. They would perhaps smite me in ways only German scat films, or rabbits with the Screamin' Shits could only depict.

I pack my bags and go on a hike around the ol' ghost town. With my laptop Apollo on my back I start trolling for possible drop sites. The first location that came to mind was a local coffee shop I frequent. Since I'm there often, the people that manage the facility dont like me. Probably because I am an asshole, possible because my shit doesn't smell like curry powder and rotten dog meat. Either way, they were quite reluctant to let me download. BAH! Puny ingrate mortals, I shall seek my revenge... but not today, I need to poop, and poop I shall!

Backtracking to whence I came and soon crossing my point of origins, I continue on in the totally fucking opposite direction to the next means of defecation passing an all Asian, ultra bright blue neon and LED bar. I'm sorry my yellow skin stereotypes, not today. Moving on I soon come to the next dunn'. Closed. Dear lord thank you for this butt puckering cold. Walking back AGAIN I approach the blaring ultra bright blue bar. Being greeted by a very low brow bouncer wasn't something I expected, neither was being asked for ID. Those that know me fully understand why I do not carry ID. I can be who I want, when I want, this moment was no different. This is getting ridiculous. The things I have to deal with to take a crap.

Its about 2AM and I find myself standing in this Asian bar cram packed with the most typical stereotypes you could ever imagine. It was like I walked right into a really bad anime, mainly because nobody had perky tits, dandruff free hair, or a glistening sticky overcoat on their skin. Lets not mention the smell of shaved cats or really bad looking teeth. Why are Asian people attracted to really bright blue lights? Fuck, now I'm standing here trying to assess the situation when the bouncer asks "You needing something?". "Nope, just waiting for someone." "You think you have the right place?" Yeah, I'm sure, seeing how its the only place in 5 miles I can think of that has a shitter. "I think I'm in the right place..." At this point I badger the bouncer with as many annoying questions and pathetic small talk as possible. I figure if this guy finds me annoying enough, he will give me what I want just to get rid of me. If need be ill give him a free Cleveland Steamer. I make sure to walk in and out of the front door as many times as possible, that way the fucker cant stay warm. The constant cold chilly air rushes in directly at him. I pretend to be on my cell phone to avoid any transient and unnecessary conversation. Ten minutes into this whole ordeal I exclaim "Hey, mind if I bleed the lizard, the cold air is tickling my pecker". The bouncer promptly points me in the direction "'Round the corner, downstairs".

Heading down the stairs I get stares of an indignant nature. The hell with you, squinties, wait till' I leave, then lets see what you think. I enter the bathroom not with a quint sigh of relief, but with a sense of calm admiration. This is the eye of the storm, well, more like the sphincter, but to each their own. Lucky I am a man that follows the idea 'Plan for the worst, hope for the best'. With that idea in mind I had well prepared my journey by packing my own toilet paper, cause shit happens, and when it does, be prepared.

As I sit on my borrowed porcelain throne I ponder the passive contents in my bag of many tricks. Hearing the locals in the thickest of Asian anime accents, breathing through their lack of testosterone, all I understand is the phrase "yo nigga". Thinking quietly I find a strange sense of humility in their presence. I was tempted by the Electron Gods to summon the powers of Apollo and his beefed up 2.4Ghz WiFi antenna and entertain my brain meats while I sit quietly. I figure you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you, or worse... hack the bowl you shit in. I finished performing my civil duty, gathered my things and left the bar. Of course I pretended to be on the phone yet again to avoid any stray stares and unwanted conversation from the locals.

This concludes my adventure. I leave you now with a tale to tell the grandchildren, god forbid you ever do breed.

Fist full of Wii

So I have been doing a bunch of Wii Homebrew lately. Im fond of the Gamecube, but the bitchy disc compatibility makes loading small chunks of code a pain in the ass. The Wii has built in backwards compatibility with the Cube, however it has a full 4.5GB DVD Disc system, instead of the 1.4GB 8cm Disc. The disc compatibility of the Wii is admirable. It was able to load pretty much anything I could throw at it, granted the data layout was correct. (You cant just throw files on a disc and expect it to load). Wii discs have a type of XOR encryption that no PC or Mac can read or burn. There is also a specific way the consoles will authenticate the disc session and even let you load code.

One way to make the DVD drive to authenticate the disc session is by adding a 'ModChip' to the drive controller integrated circuit. This chip will talk to the drive controller and say "Hey, this is a valid disc, now load it before I puke in your boots". Weather or not the use of this modification is legal is moot. I dont care. Yes, you can use it to backup your own games. Yes, you can use it to make copies of rented games. Yes, you can use it to play games you have downloaded off the internet. BUT! It also lets you load your own code, which is why these mods are originally created, it just doesnt take too much time for the bootleggers to follow in the wake of progress.

Some of the bootleggers are legit companies, like CodeJunikes, creators of Code Breakers and Action replay, they have been ripping off a lot of the homebrew code for many of todays current consoles, and repacking a shit quality revision for profit. Lets see some examples! I wont get into too much detail, i want to get to my point soon...

Max Media Dock = M3 Movie Player

Datel Drive Doctor (Wii) = WiiFrii / Chiip / Viper GC Extreme

MaxDrive PS3 = Standard USB HDD

MaxDrive X360 = Standard USB HDD

Action Replay DS = Dipstar / NitroHax freeware cheat system

Games & Music DS = Moonshell & Many Slot-1 loader cards

Mii Manager = Google Mii Hacking, there are TONS of freeware Mii transfer tools!

SD Launcher = SDLoad with Action Replay Exploit

All of the things i mention on the left are code junkies products, on the right is the homebrew solution that was released well before code junkies sank their claws into it. This pisses me off... The one thing that puts my nards in a vice is the whole Action Replay story...

Back in the day and still usable today, there was a way to load code from an SD card on a GC (also works in GC mode on a Wii). This worked by loading a lengthy code via Action Replay which in turn boots a loader from a SD card adapted to fit in Memory Card Slot A. Making the adapter isnt very hard, if you cant, you can buy official GC SD Card Adapters (SD Gecko). So what code junkies did was make their OWN SD card adapter, then removed the 'Add Code" function from Action Replay, and create their OWN version of Action Replay that will only have that ONE code. Now thats all fine and dandy. Rebuilding their own product is fine, but none of this is viable without the work of the developers of SDLoad. Without that, there is no way to load the code off the SD card. This was stolen by Code Junkies ad repacked for their SD Launcher. Not only that, but they are packaging open-source hardware, the GC SD Card Adapter... This violates me in ways i cant explain. They are pretty much raping peoples work, then pimping out their broken spirits.

Ok, to my point. Ever wonder why the Wii doesnt have a DVD Player? It turns out they would have to had paid royalties to whomever owns the CSS Encryption Scheme, and Macromedia. It would have added an extra $75+ to the console. Not really worth it, a DVD player costs as much.

There was a homebrew DVD player for the gamecube, which was recently reworked to work with the full size DVD drive of the Wii. Nintendo recently rolled out a system update for the Wii that removed the El Torrito Disc format, which is commonly used by the homebrew scene. At first I thought Nintendo rolled this update out to kill DVD Playback support. They have been doing really well dealing with piracy and unauthorized stuff, but nobody wants to deal with the movie industry. Big-N is usually really nice to us homebrew people, but when a chunk of homebrew pops up that could cause potential legal problems for them, they have to do something. Now I was doing some experiments and came to the realization that this Wii v3.0 system update also kills the Action Replay, and probably SD Launcher... Could this be Nintendo's strike at homebrew... or at Code Junkies? We already have a way to boot homebrew code without using the El Torrito Disc format... But Code Junkies is FUCKED.

At first I was a little pissed and a wee bit dismayed that all my homebrew wouldnt work, but after some testing, all the stuff I made worked just fine, except some of the early stuff. It seems that Code Junkies and the Mod Chip makers are using the older disc formats of yesteryear. So this update kills all the Code Junkies GC products, and Mod Chip setup discs.

Yay for Nintendo for fisting Code Junkies in the ass using salted lube! The jerkoffs deserve worse...

BSoD at NYC 2600

Im not too fond of 'the scene' but i figured I might as well give the local 2600 group a shot. Some of the early BSoD fans and members can all attest how big of a script kiddie pain in the ass 2600 members have been towrds us. Rooting the old IRC server (buy simply asking the ignorant shell admin for the password) then DDoSing the BSoD site and IRC servers... all because they couldnt act maturely in BSoD. Not to mention the legal troubles I got into because of 2600 and other 'Scene' members that decided to narc on me. It didnt work assholes, i walked away from it scott free! unlike you, I dont do immature skiddie shit to proove anything. ANYWAYS!!

It was kosherPig (aka Jew) Mustang and I. We show up at the Citigroup building on lexington and 53td, where the meet is held every month. This is a place where there is a lot of banking and high profile buisness. So they have some pretty decent security. before we even get to the meet inside we ned to get all of out shit checked to make sure we wont blow anyone up. This is where the fun began, mainly because i decided to take my WiVi rifle for test in the city, plus im sure the 2600 people would have found it interesting. i also brought a bunch of other gizmos and gadgets, most of them home built, something that rasies 'flags'.

We walk in and get our shit checked out by an xray machine. KP goes through no problem, he just has his laptop in a diaper bag (from episode 1). Me on the other hand, I had:

Laptop
GPS Unit
USB Wifi with RPSMA Mod
6dB Collinear antenna that looked like a pipe bomb
two FRS radios, one was modded and looked like a detonator.
Radio scanner
3 foot long antenna (homebrew of course)
multiple smaller antennas, all of them being various coils of wire
Scanner Coax cable
three niMH rechargeable batteries
Solar Charging LiION battery in a GBA SP form factor.
WiVi Rifle.

When walking around NYC with thr WiVi rifle, people tend to stare... the also tend to freak out and try to get far away from you as possible because they have NO idea WTF it is, all they know is its home made and looks like a weapon. When we get to the front doors of course security looks at us like "Ummm... ok?".

So KP gets his bag scanned and walks through, no worries... Next it was my turn. They had to take a little longer to look at all the crap that was in my bag, and then the WiVi rifle. Mustang pointed out to me that they were so busy staring at all my shit coming off the xray convayor belt, they didnt even look at the monitor when his bag passed through. They didnt question him about his meds and hypodermic needles (hes a diabetic).

We get to the main spot a tad early which is a small food court. The first 2 floors of this place is like any standard mall. Wide open 1st and 2nd floor. People on the 2nd floor can look down and see people in the food court. I saw a large metal plant pot with some foliage and said "Ok, we are sitting here, its a tactical advantage. I sit down, put my back to the planter, and settle. The advantage to the plant pot and crap sticking out of it was so that no one can sneak up on me, or stay out of my field of vision. Yes, im that paranoid! Remember what i said in episode 1, know your surroundings.

Things started to escilate quickly. Security didnt know WTF to make of these three guys that just walked in with all this unknown gear. They dont see shit like this every day, even hosting 2600 meets every month. I knew the Wivi rifle would get some attention, but i didnt know it would be such a hit!

As soon as we start to settle i see security checking us out form every corner. KosherPig has been under my training for some time, he knows how to assess a situation, he knows a bit about urban combat and gurella warfare now... Within 5 minutes there were 4 guards covering the front two escilators, two on the second floor, one on each side of us, two security guards holding off the front two exits, and two cops with their gun unholdstered and ready for a firefight behind us. One random guard come up to us and asks "What is that thing? is it a gun!?". You could tell he was nervous as all HELL! That guy must have picked the short straw. You dont want to be the one to walk up to the unstable guy thats obviousaly wired with batteries and god knows what else and ask is hes going to blow himself up or not. We definately raised some heart rates that day.

I explain to the guards what the WiVi rifle is, how it works and such. They were very polite and seemed to be interested in its simple yet ingenius deign and function. After about 15 minutes they saw we were no threat and just went back to sleeping. Im glad my back was against that plant, if any of them would have come up behind me, i might have been triggered into a psychotic snap... which would have been a BAD THING.


The meeting went fairly well. There were some good folk there. It was general geek chatter and such. We handed out over 40 BSoD DVDs to people, met a fan of the show, and explained the WiVi Rifle at least as many times as we handed out a DVD. I was expecting to get some attention, not be the center of it all. I dont mind, really, but i wasnt expecting such a swarm of people to swoon over the thing. Its not like this kind of shit is all that new, ive been doing WiVi shit for at least 5 years now. But hey, they liked it, they asked questions, we told stories. It was all good. We werent allowed to take pictures inside the building, i think its because there is a lot of banking and shit done in there. Eh' im not gonna complain, at least they let us all in and hog the atrium.

We made the front page of NYC 2600. There are some photos here and here


I want to extend my thanks to the NYC 2600 group for taking some of the sour taste the past 10 years of l33t ass hax0r 2600 people have left. Good to see some REAL people in 'the scene'. But dont expect me to take my guard down anytime soon... Maybe we will make another appearance next month with some more toys. Time (and my bank account) shall tell.

Here are some memorable photos taken outside after the meetup:

DDoS your nipples.

For those of you that dont know, a DDoS, or Distributed Denial of Service attack is when a whole bunch of computers send itty-bitty bits of data to another computer all at once. All those little bits of data pile up on the attacked machine, and it will lag, or even be kicked offline.

With that little bit of information, let me tell you a short tale of my girlfriends tits.

The other day she was complaining her boobs hurt, so, me of my caring and nurturing nature, I decided to do what was right and massage them thoroughly. Now, im sure the lot of you are thinking im a typical tit obsessed male, well, thats besides the point.

Have you ever wondered why massage makes you relax? The human body has multiple types of nerves. Pain and Touch run along different nerve paths, but end up at the same location in your brain. The thing about this is that the nerves that sense touch are much faster than the nerves that sense pain. So if you stimulate the nerves for touch, you DDoS your brain so it cant receive the signals from the pain nerves. Being a person thats quite familiar with an overworked nervous system, I can tell you that this is not only true, but it works, and works well.

So next time you are achy or have a dull pain that wont go away, perhaps a muscle sprain, cramp, or bruise, I think you know what you need to do. Just do me a favor? Dont ask to massage or DDoS my nipples.