DDoS your nipples.

For those of you that dont know, a DDoS, or Distributed Denial of Service attack is when a whole bunch of computers send itty-bitty bits of data to another computer all at once. All those little bits of data pile up on the attacked machine, and it will lag, or even be kicked offline.

With that little bit of information, let me tell you a short tale of my girlfriends tits.

The other day she was complaining her boobs hurt, so, me of my caring and nurturing nature, I decided to do what was right and massage them thoroughly. Now, im sure the lot of you are thinking im a typical tit obsessed male, well, thats besides the point.

Have you ever wondered why massage makes you relax? The human body has multiple types of nerves. Pain and Touch run along different nerve paths, but end up at the same location in your brain. The thing about this is that the nerves that sense touch are much faster than the nerves that sense pain. So if you stimulate the nerves for touch, you DDoS your brain so it cant receive the signals from the pain nerves. Being a person thats quite familiar with an overworked nervous system, I can tell you that this is not only true, but it works, and works well.

So next time you are achy or have a dull pain that wont go away, perhaps a muscle sprain, cramp, or bruise, I think you know what you need to do. Just do me a favor? Dont ask to massage or DDoS my nipples.